Connect

Understanding domestic abuse

Last November marked 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence, drawing attention to critical issues like domestic abuse — a widespread and devastating problem in this country. 

According to Refuge UK, police receive a domestic abuse-related call every 30 seconds, yet only 24% of cases are reported. 

While Bank Workers Charity isn’t a crisis service, we’re supporting more people impacted by domestic abuse each year. 

In this edition of Connect, you’ll find facts, advice, and community insights to deepen understanding and provide support. 

If you’re affected by this issue, help is available — see below for resources. 

What is domestic abuse?

Let's start with a definition. According to Women's Aid, domestic abuse is:

"An incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening, degrading and violent behaviour, including sexual violence, in the majority of cases by a partner or ex-partner, but also by a family member or carer."

Domestic abuse by numbers 

1 in 4 women will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime

(Source: Office for National Statistics)

Its impact is far-reaching. These stats highlight the breadth of the issue:

• Millions affected: An estimated 2.1 million people faced domestic abuse last year - 73.5% of them female (Source: Office for National Statistics)

• The challenge of leaving: On average, it takes 7 attempts before a woman can leave an abusive partner for good (Source: Refuge UK)

• Economic abuse: 95% of women who experience domestic abuse also report economic abuse, for example, having their finances controlled or being forced into debt (Source: Surviving Economic Abuse)

• Impact on expectant women: Around 30% of domestic abuse cases begin during pregnancy (Source: Safe Lives)

• LGBTQ+ experiences: Nearly half (49%) of gay and bi men and 80% of trans people have faced domestic abuse from a family member, partner, or ex-partner (Sources: Stonewall; LGBT Youth Scotland)

Guide: 5 ways to support someone

Domestic abuse takes many forms. Here’s how to help if someone you know is affected:

1. Trust them 

Opening up about abuse takes courage, and survivors are often not believed. Trust what they’re telling you. 

2. Avoid judging

Create a safe space for them to talk. Listen without offering solutions or passing judgment — your empathy and reassurance can help them feel less alone. 

3. Respect their choices 

Leaving an abusive relationship is complex. Allow them to set their own boundaries around what feels safe. If you believe they’re in immediate danger, encourage them to contact the police. 

4. Point them towards support 

Organisations like Refuge and Women’s Aid have trained support workers who offer judgment-free help. You’ll find their contact details below. 

5. Don't put yourself in danger 

Confronting the abuser may make them see you as a threat, potentially escalating the abuse. Consider your own safety, too. 

How banks are tackling the issue

Many UK banks offer robust support for customers and employees affected by domestic abuse.

Most have signed the 2021 Financial Abuse Code to protect vulnerable customers. Use the Banking Support Directory to find out how your bank can help. 

And if you’re a bank employee, check your workplace policy or speak to HR or your manager about the support available. 

Insights from our community

The challenges of starting over

We hear from survivors in all roles within banks, including senior positions.

As we mentioned earlier, leaving an abusive relationship is a complex process, and our community’s experiences reflect this. Abuse often continues post-separation, with coercive control – especially around finances – remaining a common issue. 

From the stories shared with us, we know that practical support, such as time off work or financial help to move home, can make a meaningful difference during this challenging time. 

Where to get support

If you're experiencing domestic abuse, it's essential you seek specialised advice. Bank Workers Charity is not a crisis organisation, so we'd urge you to try these resources as your first step:

• 24-Hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline: Call 0808 200 0247 for free advice and information for women, day or night

• Womens Aid Directory: Has details of support services near you 

• Karma Nirvana: Helpline for those facing honour-based abuse or forced marriage – call 0800 599 9247 

• Galop Helpline: For LGBT+ people experiencing abuse or violence, call 0800 999 5428 

• Men’s Advice Line: Men experience domestic abuse too – call 0808 801 0327 

• The Financial Support Line: Offers specialist advice to anyone experiencing financial abuse – call 0808 196 8845 

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